DNF Series Review: Peaches Monroe by Mimi Strong

Series Review: Is this series worth your time? Does it get better as the novels progress? Or does it get worse? Find out below:

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SERIESous’ Top Book Series: Worst Reads of 2014
Series: Peaches Monroe Trilogy
Author: Mimi Strong
# of Books: 3 (Stardust, Starlight, Starfire)
Book Order: Chronological
Complete?: Yes
Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Erotica, Humour (?), Romance
Heat Rating: pretty warm – almost hot (at least I think it gets hotter)
Point of View: First Person, Single

Thoughts on Stardust:

Disclaimer: I stopped reading Stardust at Chapter 5. Find out why below…

Stardust was next on my to-buy list when it popped up for free on Kindle. I always love when books I want to buy pop up for free but it also worries me because why is it now free? That is the question I should have asked myself when I started to read this book.

What was I hoping for when I read this book: a Bridget Jones-esque novel. The synopsis hints that this book is going to be a lot of fun, star a hot male lead and a funny heroine. But instead we just get a weird concoction of everything–and not in a good way like Worst Week Ever was.

First, Peaches was about as mature as a child in grade school. I never want to listen to a grown woman call her body-parts what Peaches does in this book–in real life or in fiction. I didn’t find it quirky or funny–I found it disturbing and I am a girl who laughs at everything. Sure it’s a nice change from the often anatomy-driven descriptions we get in some erotica novels but I also like to keep my brain cells as I read a book–not subject them to apoptosis by reading immature drivel. It felt like a pre-teen girl wrote this and was trying to come up with 50 different ways to not say the word penis or vagina

Dalton isn’t any better. I felt indifferent to him and the lure of his big dark secret wasn’t enough to keep me reading. There romance is fast, superficial and based on absolutely nothing other than the fact that they were in each other’s personal spaces longer than 5 minutes.

This book is praised for its wittiness and quirkiness but I think people are using the wrong words for stupidity and juvenile. There isn’t really a plot, there is very little wit and the writing is confusing at times. It’s awkward and not in that good way either. It’s just plain weird and I’m going to have to stop because I am running out of adjectives to describe how bad this book was…

Series Rating: DNF

Stardust 1/5 | Starlight N/A | Starfire N/A

overall

I’m baffled by the “great” reviews this book has on Goodreads. I think I bowed out of this book around chapter 5–I didn’t even enact my 50 page rule so that should be a good sign of how much I disliked this book. I’m glad I didn’t pay the $1 that this book is usually worth because it is just that bad and stupid. It’s easily one of the worst books I have ever read–and I’ve read some stinkers. I won’t be picking up the sequels anytime soon (i.e.: NEVER!)

Read if You Like: odd heroines, celebrity love stories
Avoid if You: like good romance novels

similarreads
(and by this I mean actual good books that have a similar plot concept that are actually worth your time!):

  • Bridget Jones’ Diary by Helen Fielding (Bridget Jones’ Diary #1)
  • Rumour Has It by Elizabeth Grace (Limelight #1)

Synopsis for Stardust (from Goodreads):
There I was, minding my own business at Peachtree Books when this lunatic comes racing in the door and knocks me into his arms. I would have ripped him a new one, but he was kinda familiar, and hot. Like I-want-to-have-your-sexy-babies-now hot.

Turns out he looks familiar because I stare at his gorgeous face on TV every week. Yup, Dalton Deangelo. In the oh-so-firm flesh.

I let him hide out from the press for a while, then I thought he’d be on his way, and I could breathe normally again. But no. He found me interesting. He wanted to tag along to my cousin’s wedding with me. I couldn’t say no to that face … or THOSE EYES. Before the night was through, he was saying sweet things, then dirty things. Very dirty things.

I try to keep my eyes wide open. I’ve made terrible, stupid mistakes in the past. But Dalton Deangelo’s touch turns me to Jell-O.

I’m just a regular girl, and he’s rich and famous with no body fat. The guy has a butler! So, why is he chasing me? And why can’t I say no? And what is this sordid secret of his the reporters are trying to uncover?

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